I'm a Machine

Seven days after the actual date - here I am, exhausted from a fun-filled weekend in Nashville, and contemplating running away in hopes that being admitted to the hospital today won't actually happen.  People always say denial can be a super fun place if you make it that way :)

If you haven't been reading lately, shame on you, and if you have been checking in since my last post - many apologies for not posting sooner.

After last week's harvest, B and I received good news for once - I produced more than TWICE the stem cells needed for transplant -- in ONE day. So if you aren't really a math person and not so quick on your toes, I'll just go ahead and come out with it: they were able to harvest 4.83 million stem cells last Tuesday which I'm hoping is the center's record - I'll keep you posted on this after I do some sleuthing.

So after a much shorter week than I anticipated I was able to prepare for a weekend of mental escape before I had to return to reality.

That reality is possibly three+ weeks at BWH, four days of round-the-clock chemo, 0.0 white blood cell counts, blood transfusions, nausea meds and all of the other terrible side effects of chemo and killing your entire immune system.  Needless to say, as you can imagine, I am bursting at the seams with excitement.

All joking aside, I am excited to be on the other side of all of this where I can experience a day when I know that the peach fuss on my head means that my old flowing locks are soon to follow- for good, that my eyelashes will really be able to grow in to the full potential achieved by Latisse, and that I can reclaim my body and my life that I used to have. These seemingly inconsequential milestones are going to be my fuel these next few weeks - the propellent to keep me going.

Don't think that once I'm discharged that life will be fun or exciting - the list of do's and don'ts really weigh on the side of don'ts unfortunately... but I have to keep reminding myself that hopefully, this is the end of Cancer, this is the last time I have to deal with this.

I will publish my list of don't and cant-have's in the next few days so that if you are compelled to send/bring things over, you are well informed.

Posts will likely be scarce and/or drug-induced in the next few days so when I regain my mental capacity I will make an appearance.

Keep your fingers crossed - I need lots of good karma in the next few days.

xoxox

T