Besides the fact that this will be time consuming, has painful side effects and can be very dangerous with a heightened risk of infection, it can also ruin my chances of ever having my own children.
B and I met with a doctor last week to discuss our options for a family we can't even fathom having right now. The standard options for IVF might not be an option for us because our doctor hasn't encountered a patient in my position. It seems to be the perfect storm almost: ovarian suppression for six months, four weeks out of chemo and having to go back into treatment in less than six months. These are all factors that Dr. T is concerned could cause problems for the "offspring" in the future.
Even larger than that, he is concerned about my health: how long do I have to wait? Can I afford to wait a few more months before I even start this next regimen?
On top of these two questions, I'm not sure how I feel giving up my chances to be a mom to get this whole cancer thing over with with sooner.
So tomorrow I go back in for my first round of testing to see where we stand. Keep your fingers crossed that the horizon isn't too bleak.
xoxo
t
tiffany - i came across this page when i was facebook stalking you to see what you've been up to since high school! i dont even know what to say.
ReplyDeletei'll start with this: you are incredibly brave. you also look great in a head scarf (yeah i went back and read each post from the beginning).
my hope for you today is that you come across some facts that will make the decision more clear to you. good luck!!
tiffany,
ReplyDeletei felt compelled to write..
When N was in the hospital and we were unsure of what we were facing, I found myself in crisis management role. Somehow, the innate ability we have to handle the unthinkable kicked in and I felt an inner strength like I have never felt.
You may think you have used that strength up, but you haven't. It is there and you can, you will, be able to survive this, because you have it in you to do so.
So many of us think of you often and are sending good vibes into the universe for you.
L,
E
loving you.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with EW above. Whatever happens, you will handle it the way you always do: with grace and beauty, and your unending desire to make it right. I know that the future plans seem so unclear right now, but when you get there, you will see, it all will be okay.
ReplyDelete